Nishikino Maki vs Lady Gaga
by blinkkittylove
Summary: Maki finds out what Nico is using for her ringtone.


Typical rainy afternoon lunch in the clubroom, Nico had brought a bento for Maki, who was distracting Nico from important Idol research by fidgeting with her phone in a furtive fashion. Rin was tossing rice balls at Hanayo, then she threw one at Maki, startling the redhead.

"Do it." Rin hissed, in what might have passed for a whisper if Rin were standing on the moon.

Maki grumbled and hit a button on her phone. Nico heard a catchy beat start and Lady Gaga's voice began to sing...Nico cursed and slid her chair toward her bag but Rin had already grabbed it and was holding it to her chest, sticking her tongue out at the Number One Annoyed Idol In the Universe.

"I'm your biggest fan  
I'll follow you until you love me  
Papa-paparazzi  
Baby, there's no other superstar you know that I'll be  
Your papa-paparazzi  
Promise I'll be kind  
But I won't stop until that boy is mine  
Baby, you'll be famous  
Chase you down until you love me  
Papa-paparazzi"

Nico tore her bag out of Rin's hand, shoving the ginger back into the table, ignoring Hanayo's aggrieved squeak of support for her girlfriend.

"Nya Nya Nya, Nico-chan. I thought you loved this song." Rin cried, but with laughter of the hysterical, roll across the table kind. Hanayo watched, concerned that Rin would roll off onto the floor. Like yesterday.

Meanwhile, Maki had been staring at Nico's bag, then Nico, mouth WIDE open, cheeks aflame. "Nico-chan?"

"Ever hear the first verse, Maki-chan?" Rin pounded the table. "It goes…'We are the crowd. We're c-coming out'…"

Maki didn't know where to look. How many..."I can't believe...when did you...how many…" Maki stood, as tall as she could, trying to glare at Nico, who was paying no attention to her, but watching Rin like a cat, why couldn't Maki get that image out of her head, Nico as a cat, with stupid pink paws... Standing tall, twirling a twist of hair, Maki forced her voice to sound composed, "Nico-chan, when did you do that?"

"Last week, after you kept taking pictures of Nico during the Halloween costumes photoshoot." Rin made the strategic error of letting laughter roll her back into Nico's orbit.

Nico lifted Rin off the table, shoving a used cloth napkin in her mouth, "I am going to kill you."

Hanayo got even more interested in whatever Idol news she was finding on her phone as Nico crawled up on the table to get better leverage for strangling Rin.

"NICO-CHAN." Maki's shout froze the room. Hanayo dropped her phone. Nico dropped Rin. Rin sat up, pulling the napkin out of her mouth but silent in the face of the increasing red on Maki's face and the narrowed, dangerous eyes.

"Maki-chan." Nico smiled, "Did you like the bento? Nico tried a new technique to smoke the fish. Fennel in the…

"Change it NOW, Nico-chan." Maki's fists were clenched.

"But you are Nico's Number One Fan…" Nico tried, gave it the full effort, the smile, the dazzle, the full "Nico Nico Ni", but Maki practically stormed through her on the way to the door, refusing to make eye contact.

"I'm never calling you again." Maki muttered, head ducked.

By now, Hanayo had picked up her phone, and checked Rin for bruising, "She's really upset, Nico-chan."

"Nico knows." Nico dropped back into her seat with a sigh, then grinned, "But that went better than it could have. Technically, she's still talking to me."

Rin snorted, "Nyot on the phone."

"Shut it, Tigra. Nico has to think."

Nico was still thinking...hours later...clutching a pink pillow in her bedroom, when her phone started up "I'm your biggest fan/I'll follow you until you love me/  
Papa-paparazzi…" Text, not video call.

M: I bet you didn't change your stupid ringtone yet (¬_¬)

M: I mean it Nico-chan. Change it (╯‵□′)╯︵┴─┴

N: Every text from you reminds me it's true (≖ᴗ≖✿) Maki is Nico's biggest fan ღゝ◡╹)ノ

No reply. Nico sighed. Maki was certainly embarrassed. Rin was surely making it worse somehow. Maybe another bento?

Lunch time. Nico had not seen Maki all day, even Rin was strangely quiet as they sat around the table, eating. Hanayo, as she usually did in Maki-Rin-Nico battles, restricted her conversation to Idol gossip and seasonal rice recipes. Nozomi had been nudging Nico about her bad mood, wanting to know the cause, but Nico had enough troubles and stayed impervious, distracting Nozomi by getting Eli to panic about whether they'd filled out all the forms for the final Love Live preliminary. Nico glanced at the clock, Maki wasn't likely to make an appearance this late, was she in the Music Room? Nico started to pack everything up, she had just enough time to casually stroll by and see how high her favorite redhead's temper was running. Was it a pounding angry Mozart day? Then the club room door slammed open, Maki strode in, banged her phone down on the table, ripped the phone out of Nico's bag, swiped a couple of times, and stood smugly as her phone started up

"Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!  
Caught in a bad romance  
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!  
Caught in a bad romance."

Nico stared at Maki, who crossed her arms over her chest, "Take that Nico-chan."

Lady Gaga kept singing as laughter doubled Nico over, Rin pounding the table. Hanayo, eyes bright, had a hand over her own mouth to stifle any verbal response as Nico looked up from where she'd deskpalmed. "Okay, Maki-chan. It's deal. I keep my ringtone, you keep yours."

In the laughter lull, Lady Gaga continued,

"You know that I want you  
And you know that I need you ('cause I'm a free bitch, baby)  
I want it bad  
Your bad romance"

Crimson and coughing, the mortified Maki spun and ran out of the room, Rin crawling after her, shouting down the hall between howling snorts, "You forgot your phone, Maki-chan! It's ringing."

"I hate all of you." Maki's roared response could probably be heard on the second floor.

Nico chuckled and cut the call as Umi walked into the room, eyebrow raised, "What is going on, Nico?"

"See you." Rin ran out, followed by Hanayo.

"Do you really want Nico to tell you all about a lovers' quarrel?" Nico winked at Umi, who immediately turned to follow Maki down the hall.

Maki's phone in hand, Nico pulled up her own contact info and hit "Call."

"I'm your biggest fan  
I'll follow you until you love me  
Papa-paparazzi…"

Nico leaned back in her chair, hands clasped behind her head, and thoroughly enjoyed the last five minutes of her lunch break, eyes closed, mind full of vibrant lavender eyes and elegant fingers scrabbling through gorgeous, tousled tangles.

A/N: Ah, I'm actually in the middle of the penultimate (isn't that a lovely word and one can so rarely use it properly) chapter of Casual Lunacy but as I was driving home "Paparazzi" came on the radio and then I had this idea and boom...there goes my afternoon. Enjoy!

Fun fact: I occasionally get the urge to use Lady Gaga's "Telephone" as my ringtone.

"Stop calling, stop calling, I don't want to talk anymore  
I left my head and my heart on the dance floor..."

Leave a comment and/or a ringtone after the tone, please and thank you ; )


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